The Red Sock

It ain't over till it's over

2005-09-16T17:57:00.000-04:00

Yogi Berra settled on his lawsuit with TBS for an unspecified amount after the Hall of Famer sued them for misuse of his name. The station used Berra’s name in advertisements for Sex and the City, where the ad asked consumers what the definition was for the word “Yogasm.” One of the answers was “sex with Yogi Berra,” something the former Yankee was not too fond of. After the case was settled, Berra supposedly said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” Wait, that doesn’t make sense. He supposedly said, “A grand ain’t worth a million any more.” Or something like that.

Do YOU know the Marlins?

2005-09-16T17:27:00.000-04:00

Do YOU think you know a lot about the Marlins? I did, until I took this quiz in the Miami Herald. Then I realized I knew very little about them. That is, until I took the quiz about 13 times in a row, and then by the end, I almost got all the questions right. I wish I had the last 10 minutes of my life back.

We are the Tigers

2005-09-16T11:34:00.000-04:00

Now this is more like it. A team’s paper that is not only willing to accept the season is over, but will bash every aspect of the franchise in the process. We don’t want to read about how the team has “got some life left” or “still has a chance,” we want to hear things like this:

“Nobody is willing to sacrifice to find common ground. They're all in this for themselves, and that attitude is toxic in an organization now finishing a 12th straight losing season.”

“That's why the poisonous stench of resignation wafting through the Tigers' clubhouse the last two weeks doesn't sound off alarms.”

“This is what losers do.”

“This is what we've come to expect from the Tigers.”

Good times.

You want to talk? Okay, we can talk.

2005-09-16T11:30:00.000-04:00

I went to the Boston Red Sox game last night and although I had fun, it was fairly disappointing watching Schilling on the mound. He looked like an injured veteran at the end of a long career, searching desperately for the stuff he once had. Oh, right. That’s what he is. A few thoughts on the game:

In the sixth inning, a man proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen in center field. Does anyone else have a problem with this? This is hardly a romantic gesture. Does the woman even have a decision to make here? She has two options: One, say no, embarrass both herself and her boyfriend, and then have to watch the rest of the game while everyone stares at them and laughs. Or two, say yes, no matter what she is feeling, and then have everyone stare anyway. This sounds like something I would do to a girl that I didn’t like, or that I knew was going to break up with me, not someone I was in love with that I was hoping to marry. “Oh, you think we need to talk? Well let’s wait until after the Sox game, I think things will be a lot clearer then.”

There is always the fan that has had too much to drink that needlessly stands up in situations where it is completely inappropriate. It was the seventh inning and there was a man on, with Trot Nixon at the plate. We’re down three runs, and everyone is hoping something happens, but we’re not in dire straights here. One girl decides to stand up and scream “hit it here!” for his entire at bat. Now, not only is she wearing a Millar shirt, which is just offensive to begin with, but we’re in the centerfield bleachers about 40 rows up. Not only can Trot not even hear you, but Ted Williams on his best day couldn’t hit the ball to you. At this point you’re just being ridiculous. Although I’m not sure which is worse, doing that at a game, or being the girl’s friend who allows her to do that at a game.

A True Warrior

2005-09-15T14:46:00.000-04:00

Roger Clemens pitched a gem Wednesday night, hours after being by his mother’s side as she lay on her deathbed. After spending the previous night and early morning with his mother Bess, where she supposedly spoke on anything from Andy Pettite's arm to Shoeless Joe Jackson, Clemens flew back to Houston where he pitched 6.1 innings of one run ball, earning his 12^th win of the season. As impressive as Clemens was on Wednesday dealing with the death of his mother, no one is surprised at his ability to remain focused and our hats are off to one of baseball’s great warriors. The real surprise was the Houston Astros’ offense, which also decided to show up for the game. Apparently all they need was a little extra motivation, but I don’t see anyone stepping up to volunteer their mother in his future starts. They’re going to have to figure that out on their own.

See, what happened was...

2005-09-15T14:42:00.000-04:00

Wednesday night, Boston Red Sox center fielder Gabe Kapler was lost for the season when he ruptured his left achilles’ tendon. The injury happened when Kapler rounded second base on Tony Graffanino’s fifth inning home run. This guy can’t seem to catch a break. First, he’s batting so poorly in Japan that he gets released. Then, on his return to the Red Sox he gets hurt legging out somebody else's home run. Unfortunately for him, bad luck seems to come in threes. If I were him, I wouldn’t walk under any ladders any time soon. Then again, he won’t be doing too much walking.

On a brighter note, Sox recent call-up Machado came into the game for Kapler to score his first big-league run. Even if his career fizzles out completely, he’ll still be the guy who scored his first major league run pinch-running on a homer. Congrats!

So you're telling me there's a chance!

2005-09-15T14:33:00.000-04:00

With their playoff hopes dwindling down, one would think the Cubs have given up hope of making the post-season. One would be wrong. Yesterday’s paper featured an article breaking down the playoff “race”, providing all the details on how well the Cubs must play, and how poorly the 137 teams that stand in their way must play, in order for them to sneak in.

On the other hand in Arizona, they have given up on this baseball season and are now looking toward the…past. For as little as $119.99, you can own an 8 x 10 framed photo of the Arizona Diamondbacks 2001 World Series win. I’m not sure which is more pathetic, clinging to a ray of hope before an inevitably long off-season, or giving up all together and trying to make a few bucks off a world series title five years ago. I’d say it’s a coin-flip.

Back in my day...

2005-09-15T14:20:00.000-04:00

ESPN and Major League Baseball have reached a new agreement which will run through the year 2013. The 8-year, $2.368 billion dollar deal with give ESPN more flexibility with it's Sunday night games, as well as give them the ability to start showing games on Monday nights. Baseball will average $296 million a year under the new agreement. All this really means is that we've got another 8 years of listening to Joe Morgan talk about the Big Red Machine. We get it, Joe. You guys were good. Enough already.

Thanks for nothing

2005-09-13T16:32:00.000-04:00

Florida Marlins outfielder Juan Pierre has been showing signs of breaking out of his season-long slump. He was recently moved to the bottom of the order, being replaced at the top by Luis Castillo. Since the move, Pierre has gone 8-18 with five RBI in four games. That’s great, Juan. We’re all really happy for you. Especially those of us who drafted you in the first two rounds of not one, but two fantasy teams, and have watched you put of dismal numbers all season. You single-handedly butchered a year in my fantasy life, but I’m glad things are looking up for you. And no, I’m not bitter at all.

Get your footlong...

2005-09-13T16:31:00.000-04:00

Atlanta Braves’ outfielder Jeff Francoeur apparently has his own fan club, a group of high school classmates that attend his games dressed as hot dogs. They call themselves “Francoeur’s Franks,” and recently traveled to a road game in Washington to see the Braves play the Nationals. The team is 5-0 when they attend games. Now this is something to be proud of. Someday I hope to be able to say to my mom: “I dress up like a hot dog and go to baseball games. The team is undefeated when I’m there!” Alas, I’m not quite there.

And the winner is...

2005-09-13T16:30:00.000-04:00

Seattle Mariner’s catcher Dan Wilson announced his retirement yesterday after 13 seasons in the major leagues. Known throughout baseball as a class act, his integrity and character will be missed in Seattle. The move qualifies him as this year’s, “We had no idea he was still around,” Player of the Year. Congratulations, Dan.

A Model Franchise

2005-09-13T16:13:00.000-04:00

2005 Minor League Player of the Year Delmon Young recently sounded off about not being brought up to join the Tampa Bay Devils Rays recently. Despite his accomplishments, the Devil Rays chose to pass on bringing up the young star when rosters expanded at the beginning of the month.

“They could at least give me the common courtesy of a call to tell me why they couldn't call me up or explain it to someone,” Young said of the situation. "As soon as I get my time up there, as soon as I become a free-agent, I'll just bounce out of there. There's no reason to try and stay around there for the long haul. Get your six years and leave."

So not only do veterans have no desire playing for the Devil Rays, but apparently some of the young guys, who have been the focus of the franchise for years, also have no interest in playing there. That’s a model franchise if we’ve ever seen one. We feel a Lou Piniella tantrum coming.

If only there were no playoffs....

2005-09-13T16:09:00.000-04:00

Here’s an article from the Chicago Sun Times that gives former commentator Steve Stone’s take on some of the on-going issues regarding the Cubs. One that caught our eye was his feelings about Glendon Rusch and Ryan Dempster saying the team has played much better because there was no longer pressure to make the playoffs. That’s exactly what you want to hear from your pitchers. “If only we could be so bad that we had no chance of making the playoffs, we’d be playing great baseball.” So apparently it's not about winning. I think my mom told me something like that when I was in little league.

Forgive Me, Father

2005-09-12T17:29:00.000-04:00

In the spirit of the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry after a good series this weekend, here’s a link to some Red Sox Fan jokes, along with the joke of the day:

A Red Sox fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Yankees fan he saw strutting down the street in their obnoxious NY pinstripe shirt. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them.

One day, while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road.

Suddenly, the driver saw a Yankee fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything.

He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Yankees fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."

Bada-bing.

Sosa can't seem to catch a break

2005-09-12T17:27:00.000-04:00

Baltimore Orioles outfielder Sammy Sosa is being sued by a law firm that claims he never paid them in work related to two disputes with the IRS. The firm represented Sosa in two tax cases involving his charitable foundation, both of which were resolved in his favor. This guy can’t seem to catch a break. First, he’s expected to actually play and hit home runs for the Orioles, and now he’s expected to pay a law firm that won him two cases? Can’t we just leave this guy alone? He has a bruised toe.

Bonds finally back....yippee!

2005-09-12T17:23:00.000-04:00

Barry Bonds appears set to return to the Giant’s lineup tonight, playing left field and batting fourth in the order. It will be the first time he has played this season, after several knee surgeries have kept him sidelined and out of the lineup. The excitement surrounding this event can’t really be summed up in words. I suppose, though, it’s not really the excitement of him being back that can’t be summed up….just the excitement of not having to hear about him coming back.

Ponson has earned the big bucks

2005-09-12T17:19:00.000-04:00

The Player’s Association filed a grievance last week claiming that Sidney Ponson’s contract was illegally terminated by the Baltimore Orioles. After being arrested last week for his second DUI of the year, the Orioles announced they would release the 7-year veteran, who is 7-11 with a 6.22 ERA in 23 starts this season. It was Ponson’s third brush with the law since last Christmas, when he spent 11 days in an Aruban jail after punching a judge in the face. So the guy drove drunk a couple of times, punched a judge in the face, and has an ERA over six, and is apparently entitled to the remainder of the $11 million on his contract. I think I have a few friends from college that might be available next season.